The train started going off the rails this week. Okay, it went off the rails pretty seriously. The problem was overscheduling. As a rule, I generally do not schedule the kids too heavily, not because I'm worried about burning out my kids at a young age or stressing them with the rigors of an adult-type to-do list, but because it stresses me out to have to get them everywhere. The kids all get to do a sport or a class or a musical instrument, but usually one per kid at a time. It usually works out great--Ryan or I can attend every game or performance or whatever and no one feels unduly burdened. But this week was the perfect storm of extracurricular activities: Darcey had her final dance performances (Friday and Saturday, plus a dress rehearsal on Thursday), Zack had two baseball games (and one was picture day), Brad had three baseball games and round table for scouts, and Ryan was with Noah in Los Angeles to watch the DC Street League Pro Skateboarding Tour.
By Sunday, anyone with a Geiger counter in my vicinity would have been alarmed at the level of nuclear meltdown I was going through. I was an absolute wreck. Fortunately, my brother Tim was around to shuffle some kids to some of their places, so no one missed being anywhere they needed to be. Except me, maybe. I should possibly have been in a padded room. Because they still needed to eat dinner and have clean clothes and it's possible that Zack went four days without a bath...There's no way to do it all, and the idea that parents should sacrifice themselves on the altars of their children's interests is dangerously unhealthy. Okay, rant over.
Fortunately, this is the only week in the whole year where all four kids' things collide, and we all survived it, Zack eventually bathed and Darcey eventually got to sleep earlier than 11 pm, Ryan eventually came home and I eventually stopped shooting lasers from my eyeballs when people ventured into my line of sight. Needless to say, this is a blip in my Best.Summer.Ever. plans, but that's okay. We'll survive this too.
Despite the chaos, I managed to take some pictures:
Zack's 8th birthday was June 10th. He got a lot of Legos. This made him quite happy.
He requested an ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins. This cake came with two mini-cones on top. I asked the Scoop Master behind the counter if he'd consider selling me two more mini-cones, so as to avoid bloodshed at our son's birthday party. He obliged.
And it worked. See the lack of tears? Amazing.
This is Brad in Ryan's Biker Scout costume. He's still a couple of inches shorter than me, but not for long.
A bird flew into our screen door. It was cute and tiny and we rushed outside to take it's picture, only to discover that it pooped on the porch before it hopped away. Stupid nature.
Now this is a sad, painful story. Brad parked the riding lawnmower in the garage but forgot to take the bag off to empty the grass clippings. He reached over to remove it, and accidentally leaned his knee against the hot motor. The other knee got burned too as he used it to push away from the searing metal. This would have been just another kid-who-hurt-himself kind of thing, except that the next day at his baseball game he stole home and had to slide into home base. The bandage protecting his burn was scraped off his knee, along with most of the dead skin covering the burn. I have never seen a kid try so hard not to cry as Brad did that night at his game. But no, he toughed it out, we re-bandaged it, and he went back in the game. He scored twice that night, and the team won 9-7, so it was worth it. I think.
The kids got bored one day (during the fifteen minutes that we didn't have three places to be) and decided to play with the camera. The above picture and this one of Zack are courtesy of Brad.
Then Zack got the camera and took a bunch of pictures of his Lego men. I included this picture because of the band-aid on his finger. Zack went to cub scout day camp and bought a pocketknife. He immediately came home and cut two of his fingers. Add this to the cut on his hand from his brother's cub scout pocketknife, and I determined that maybe Zack isn't quite ready for weapons yet.
Darcey's turn with the camera. I love her toes in this picture.
The inside of an empty cup.
The obligatory, nose-enhancing self-portrait.
That's me, stuffing envelopes for the Star Wars sticker business. Surprisingly, I don't hate this picture.
Darcey's Father's Day present, which she made a month ago at preschool and hid in her room. It was so special that she took it out of its hiding place to take a picture, but then forgot to actually give it to Ryan on Father's Day.
Tim's tablet, which she calls a tiblet, and now we call a Timlet. She loves her electronics, although I think she's an Apple girl at heart.
Brad's caught the vision of Project: Best.Summer.Ever. Following a long tradition of stingy mothers, I generally ignore the siren song of the Ice Cream Truck. (Although one friend of mine told her children that when the truck plays music, it means they are out of ice cream. Brilliant. But I'm not that hard-core.) Brad heard the music and said, "Mom, it's the Best.Summer.Ever. We have to get ice cream from the ice cream truck!" I handed him $5 and told him to help Darcey buy something.
Did this Bratz-head popsicle make this the Best.Summer.Ever? Possibly.
Darcey at the dress rehearsal. How do girls know how to pose like this, for maximum cuteness?
The dress rehearsal was kind of a mess; the girls seemed to only vaguely recall the dance they had been practicing for the last three months.
But these Mexican Princesses were sure cute.
I don't have pictures of the actual performance, but whatever kinks Darcey had in the rehearsal she totally worked them out before the final show on Saturday. She practiced at home with me many times, so I spent both performances muttering "Shuffle-step. Now go back. Open, close, open, close. Pick up your hat. Don't twirl! It's not time for twirling!" I guarantee I was more nervous than she was.
Zack's baseball team photo. Okay, well, half the team. He doesn't know any of the kids on the team, so I didn't feel obligated to buy the actual team photo. I only care about the one kid, the cute one on the front row. :)
If I linked this correctly, then beneath this text is a Youtube video of Darcey's dress rehearsal. Like I said, not as polished as the final show, but in all, not too shabby. (They actually danced two numbers; the first was a fiasco at the rehearsal, so I'm not posting it. Just in case she ends up on So You Think You Can Dance in thirteen years, I don't want this video from when she was five and forgot to move to her mark and another girl had to shove her out of the way to be part of the retrospective on Darcey's dance career. She can thank me later.)
Monday, June 25, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Project B.S.E. Week One
It's the first full week of summer, and it started with a bang. The most foolproof way I know to get the kids to be unable to say "I'm bored" is by renting a gigantic inflatable bounce house. That way, when the magic summer words come out of their mouths, you can point out the window and go, "Oh yeah? Really? You're bored?" and they sheepishly slink off to jump. My kids spent two solid days on this thing and loved every minute of it. The only downside is that I can only rent these once or twice a year--any more frequently and they would get bored of it. Too much of a good thing, I guess.
Anyhow, here's how our week went. We started with two of the best. birthday parties. ever.
Zack played the role of bouncer for the bouncer. He had a list of Darcey's invitees and would make sure you were on the list before you were allowed in.
Darcey's girly friends were super cute...and super squealy. There was more screaming than your standard roller coaster. All in good fun, mind you, but still.
Zack's party was on Tuesday. His party was also loud but more on the potentially-violent side.
Noah wasn't interested in bouncing; he was too busy shredding the bottom of his skateboard. He's taking skateboard lessons from a former pro-skater.
Brad and his friends making toffee. I overheard one of them mocking the 10-lb. bag of chocolate chips in my pantry until he realized that they had used most of it on batch after batch of delicious toffee.
The girls on our street play with Darcey, even though she's so much younger than they are. It was like 95 degrees this day.
Zack wanted to play baseball so we signed him up for the Lindon Giants. It's machine pitch and he's not bad...when he's not playing in the dirt.
On a super hot day, Darcey set up her camp in the front yard under the shade of our massive tree, with my ipad. She made it look so comfy I almost joined her.
On Friday, Darcey had the photo shoot for her dance class. We tried curlers but her hair was too short to make it work. So I blow-dried it with a round brush and it turned out so super adorable! Finally, she's got cute hair again!
And since I waited so long to post this blog entry, you get to see the final results!
This one (above) is Ryan's favorite. That's a pose from one of her dances.
This one is my favorite.
Or maybe this one.
Here's where her smile starts to look a little forced.
Still cute, even if the smile is pretty fake here.
Anyhow, here's how our week went. We started with two of the best. birthday parties. ever.
Zack played the role of bouncer for the bouncer. He had a list of Darcey's invitees and would make sure you were on the list before you were allowed in.
Darcey's girly friends were super cute...and super squealy. There was more screaming than your standard roller coaster. All in good fun, mind you, but still.
Zack's party was on Tuesday. His party was also loud but more on the potentially-violent side.
Noah wasn't interested in bouncing; he was too busy shredding the bottom of his skateboard. He's taking skateboard lessons from a former pro-skater.
Brad and his friends making toffee. I overheard one of them mocking the 10-lb. bag of chocolate chips in my pantry until he realized that they had used most of it on batch after batch of delicious toffee.
The girls on our street play with Darcey, even though she's so much younger than they are. It was like 95 degrees this day.
Zack wanted to play baseball so we signed him up for the Lindon Giants. It's machine pitch and he's not bad...when he's not playing in the dirt.
On a super hot day, Darcey set up her camp in the front yard under the shade of our massive tree, with my ipad. She made it look so comfy I almost joined her.
On Friday, Darcey had the photo shoot for her dance class. We tried curlers but her hair was too short to make it work. So I blow-dried it with a round brush and it turned out so super adorable! Finally, she's got cute hair again!
And since I waited so long to post this blog entry, you get to see the final results!
This one (above) is Ryan's favorite. That's a pose from one of her dances.
This one is my favorite.
Or maybe this one.
Here's where her smile starts to look a little forced.
Still cute, even if the smile is pretty fake here.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Project B.S.E. Days 2-4
First weekend of summer...and I was already irritated with the constant noise of people in the house. That's not going to make this Summer the Best.Ever. Still, a bunch of fun stuff happened, so let's take a look.
Friday--no pictures, but we ran a lot of errands. Noah went to the skate park, Brad went to the batting cages at Trafalga, I spent three hours stuffing envelopes with Star Wars family stickers...kind of a nothing day. This funny conversation happened:
(Noticing the loud nature sounds outside the Bert Murdock music store.)
Me: There sure are a lot of crickets here. I wonder why.
Brad: Must be a lot of people telling bad jokes.
Friday--no pictures, but we ran a lot of errands. Noah went to the skate park, Brad went to the batting cages at Trafalga, I spent three hours stuffing envelopes with Star Wars family stickers...kind of a nothing day. This funny conversation happened:
(Noticing the loud nature sounds outside the Bert Murdock music store.)
Me: There sure are a lot of crickets here. I wonder why.
Brad: Must be a lot of people telling bad jokes.
On Saturday, we went to the neighborhood pancake breakfast and softball game. Brad is hitting and Noah is catching.
Ryan in the outfield. He caught Brad's pop flies.
And he wasn't too bad at hitting, either. I made a great spectator.
This girl knows how to pose. I think it's in her DNA, 'cause I sure didn't teach her this.
Noah learned that there's always money in the lemonade stand. And today he expanded his operations to include sno-cones. (Although it meant that he had to sacrifice his prime location in favor of an electrical outlet.)
Then, on Sunday, we decorated the cupcakes for Zack and Darcey's birthday parties.
I designed these Ninjago cupcakes and Ryan did the artwork. It's a yellow frosted cupcake with black icing eyes and Fruit-By-The-Foot for the ninja face.
They taste good, too.
I don't know why Brad looks angry at his cupcake. He didn't know, either.
Darcey with a little Brad in the background.
The girl's cupcakes are Airhead Extreme Sour rainbows with white fluffy icing clouds.
This is a close up of Noah's skinned knee.
Just kidding, it's a pizza. We had it for dinner tonight.
Also overheard at dinner tonight:
Brad: Nothing rhymes with orange. False. "Orange" and "nothing" do not rhyme.
Next week is going to start with a bang. We've got Darcey's birthday party on Monday and Zack's on Tuesday, and that promises to be a lot of fun. And work. But mostly fun.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Project: B.S.E. -- Day 1
Well this is it, the most dreaded/anticipated day of the school year: the end. Alpine School District definitely goes out with a whimper--the last day of school is from 8-9:30. An hour and a half is nowhere near long enough to justify the morning routine of waking, dressing, feeding, driving, etc. But we did it, for old time's sake, and now we bid a fond adieu to 2nd, 5th, and 9th grades. It was a pretty good year.
This is what Day One of Project: Best.Summer.Ever looked like:
This is what Day One of Project: Best.Summer.Ever looked like:
The kids acted like hooligans at my college campus.
The princess celebrated her fifth birthday.
Our neighborhood friends dropped by for some cake and presents.
And we thought it'd be a good idea to take Zack off his ADHD meds for the summer. We'll be seeing this weirdo face a lot.
The cake was abso-freakin-lutely delicious.
And the boys' newest thing is to look off in the distance when they're getting their picture taken.
Here's what Day One of Project: Best.Summer.Ever. sounded like:
Setting: Minivan, Krispy Kreme donuts, four children, loud music on the radio.
Noah: This song is overplayed.
Brad: You're overplayed.
Noah: Your mother is overplayed.
Me: Hey! Your face is overplayed.
Silence. I think I won that one.
And now the Project: Best.Summer.Ever. reading list update. I've made some real headway in my quest to read all the books that I own whose pages have yet to see the light of day. Unfortunately, I forgot that in order to actually make progress, I need to STOP BUYING BOOKS. For every book I've read this month, I've bought two more. And hey, this isn't supposed to come out like I'm complaining--in fact, this is a sign that my life is pretty freaking awesome. But still, the list isn't looking much shorter. I put an asterisk next to the latest acquisitions.
Before You Know Kindness - Chris Bohjalian - mediocre, should have been a short story, not a novel
*Drop Dead Healthy - A.J. Jacobs - I love pretty much everything this man has written. This is no exception.
The Ridiculous Race -Pretty good book, the authors go so many cool places, it makes me kinda jealous. Okay, really jealous.
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down - Anne Fadiman - super interesting topic, about Hmong refugees in California and their interactions with the medical system.
Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner - Loved this!!
*When Women Were Birds - Terry Tempest Williams - Loved this, too!
*Goodbye, I Love You - Carol Lynn Pearson - Also fantastic.
Fiction:
The Swan Thieves - Elizabeth Kostova (borrowed from Luisa two years ago, maybe.)
Beyonders: Book Two - Brandon Mull
Crossed - Ally Condie
Where Nothing Was Long Ago - Virginia Sorenson
Night Soil - Levi Peterson
Big Trouble - Dave Barry
Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
The BFG - Roald Dahl - halfway through, possibly the most painful children's book I've ever read to my kids.
The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
This is Where I Leave You - Jonathan Tropper
These is My Words - Nancy Turner
*Passion - Lauren Kate
*Fragile Things - Neil Gaiman - I have a feeling I've read this before...
Non-Fiction:
The Digital Diet - Daniel Sieberg
The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
Pledged - Alexandra Robbins
The Tiger - John Vaillant
Twinkie, Deconstructed - Steve Ettlinger (This I've only borrowed for a year, maybe)
*In The Plex - Steven Levy
Travel:
Lost On Planet China - J. Maarten Troost
Turn Left At The Trojan Horse - Brad Herzog
Memoirs:
Same Kind of Different As Me - Ron Hall
The Color of Water - James McBride
If I Die In A Combat Zone - Tim O'Brien
52 Loaves - William Alexander
Denial - Jessica Stern
I Feel Bad About My Neck - Nora Ephron
Science Fair Season - Judy Dutton
The Tender Bar - J.R. Moehringer
*Refuge - Terry Tempest Williams
My favorite book of the summer (so far, and yes, I know it's only been one day) was Lauren Winner's "Girl Meets God." It's a memoir about an Orthodox Jewish woman who converts to Christianity. It was entertaining and thought-provoking and well-written but most of all, I spent the whole book thinking, "I wish I was her friend!" When she talks about her love of books and all of the books she buys and stacks in her New York apartment, I know we are, like, twins separated at birth. Mom, you didn't actually give my twin sister up for adoption to a Jewish/Episcopalian couple, did you?
Day One=success.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Project: B.S.E. The Reading List
Okay, so part of my Project: Best.Summer.Ever. is a personal goal to read all of the books on my bookshelf that I haven't read yet. I'm a fast reader, so with no professor telling me what to read I should be able to plow through these in the next three months, no problem. Except that I'm also a fickle reader--I read the way I eat, based on what feels good at the moment. None of these books has compelled me to make time to read them yet, so reading these books might be the literary equivalent of eating my vegetables.
Because a blog is good for nothing if not oversharing, here's my Summer Reading List.
Fiction:
The Swan Thieves - Elizabeth Kostova (borrowed from Luisa two years ago, maybe.)
Beyonders: Book Two - Brandon Mull
Crossed - Ally Condie
Where Nothing Was Long Ago - Virginia Sorenson
Night Soil - Levi Peterson
Big Trouble - Dave Barry
Before You Know Kindness - Chris Bohjalian
Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
The BFG - Roald Dahl
The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
This is Where I Leave You - Jonathan Tropper
These is My Words - Nancy Turner
Non-Fiction:
The Digital Diet - Daniel Sieberg
The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
Pledged - Alexandra Robbins
The Tiger - John Vaillant
Twinkie, Deconstructed - Steve Ettlinger (This I've only borrowed for a year, maybe)
Travel:
Lost On Planet China - J. Maarten Troost
Turn Left At The Trojan Horse - Brad Herzog
The Ridiculous Race -
Memoirs:
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down - Anne Fadiman
Same Kind of Different As Me - Ron Hall
The Color of Water - James McBride
If I Die In A Combat Zone - Tim O'Brien
52 Loaves - William Alexander
Denial - Jessica Stern
I Feel Bad About My Neck - Nora Ephron
Science Fair Season - Judy Dutton
The Tender Bar - J.R. Moehringer
Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner
Have you read any of these books? Any that you'd recommend starting with? (Or, conversely, any that are so bad I should donate them to Savers and buy a new one to replace it with?)
Because a blog is good for nothing if not oversharing, here's my Summer Reading List.
Fiction:
The Swan Thieves - Elizabeth Kostova (borrowed from Luisa two years ago, maybe.)
Beyonders: Book Two - Brandon Mull
Crossed - Ally Condie
Where Nothing Was Long Ago - Virginia Sorenson
Night Soil - Levi Peterson
Big Trouble - Dave Barry
Before You Know Kindness - Chris Bohjalian
Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
The BFG - Roald Dahl
The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
This is Where I Leave You - Jonathan Tropper
These is My Words - Nancy Turner
Non-Fiction:
The Digital Diet - Daniel Sieberg
The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
Pledged - Alexandra Robbins
The Tiger - John Vaillant
Twinkie, Deconstructed - Steve Ettlinger (This I've only borrowed for a year, maybe)
Travel:
Lost On Planet China - J. Maarten Troost
Turn Left At The Trojan Horse - Brad Herzog
The Ridiculous Race -
Memoirs:
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down - Anne Fadiman
Same Kind of Different As Me - Ron Hall
The Color of Water - James McBride
If I Die In A Combat Zone - Tim O'Brien
52 Loaves - William Alexander
Denial - Jessica Stern
I Feel Bad About My Neck - Nora Ephron
Science Fair Season - Judy Dutton
The Tender Bar - J.R. Moehringer
Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner
Have you read any of these books? Any that you'd recommend starting with? (Or, conversely, any that are so bad I should donate them to Savers and buy a new one to replace it with?)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Project: Best.Summer.Ever
After a long internal debate (you're welcome for sparing you the agony), I've decided to take the summer off of school. I was awarded a fellowship through UVU to continue researching the Woman's Exponent, which will keep me busy and also mentally stimulated. But I get a little nervous thinking about that long expanse of summer days, completely structureless and full of children. Enter my brilliant new idea--Project: Best.Summer.Ever.
Project: Best.Summer.Ever. is my plan to stay sane and engaged during the next three and a half months. Phase One is planning. During the month of May, I'm going to scout out great ideas for things to do, places to go, goals to accomplish. Then from June through August it's Phase Two: Go Time. Finally Phase Three is the cool-down phase, where we ease back into school and regular life. (Okay, Phase Three is kind of a joke at this point, but you can't have a plan with just two phases. It's like only having two Stooges, there has to be three. I'll work on a better Phase Three later.)
The real genius of the plan is in the name. You've heard the phrase "fake it till you make it"? Well, this is "name it until you brainwash your kids." That's right--the goal here is not to overschedule the kids until they weep with submission every night, nor is it to actually create the best summer ever--it's to say, over and over again, that this is the best summer ever until they start believing it themselves! We normally do some swim lessons in the summer; this year, they are going to be referred to as the Best.Swim Lessons.Ever. Because who doesn't want to do that?! We're going on the Best.Campout.Ever, eating the Best.Barbequed.Hamburgers.Ever, watching the Best.Minor.League.Baseball.Games.Ever. See? All the stuff that we already do, just made more impressive, and therefore more fun, by the name. Can you hear my evil cackle from where you are? It's loud.
Two years ago, we had what I thought was a fairly miserable Christmas. The basement flooded and I was stressed out by that to the point where I didn't even make Christmas dinner and instead we went out to the only restaurant open in Orem, the Chinese buffet down the street. No one felt the same way I did, though--the kids got their presents, spent the day playing and basically thought it was great. Then last year, what was just a standard Christmas got labeled by one of the kids as the "best Christmas ever." Ryan joked that we'd cancel next Christmas, since it couldn't get any better, and Zack believed him, at least for a minute. Other than the flooded basement, which is sure to get any homeowner down, the main difference between the two Christmases was labels. I labeled one Christmas a failure and the other a success. I look back on one in regret and the other in fondness. I don't want to do that with this summer.
Project: Best.Summer.Ever. is for me, mostly. If I give it a great label, then I'm going to try to live up to it, make it what it should be. It's the structure that I crave and that the kids secretly crave as well. And it's also a program of psychological warfare, which makes every summer better, don't you think?
Project: Best.Summer.Ever. is my plan to stay sane and engaged during the next three and a half months. Phase One is planning. During the month of May, I'm going to scout out great ideas for things to do, places to go, goals to accomplish. Then from June through August it's Phase Two: Go Time. Finally Phase Three is the cool-down phase, where we ease back into school and regular life. (Okay, Phase Three is kind of a joke at this point, but you can't have a plan with just two phases. It's like only having two Stooges, there has to be three. I'll work on a better Phase Three later.)
The real genius of the plan is in the name. You've heard the phrase "fake it till you make it"? Well, this is "name it until you brainwash your kids." That's right--the goal here is not to overschedule the kids until they weep with submission every night, nor is it to actually create the best summer ever--it's to say, over and over again, that this is the best summer ever until they start believing it themselves! We normally do some swim lessons in the summer; this year, they are going to be referred to as the Best.Swim Lessons.Ever. Because who doesn't want to do that?! We're going on the Best.Campout.Ever, eating the Best.Barbequed.Hamburgers.Ever, watching the Best.Minor.League.Baseball.Games.Ever. See? All the stuff that we already do, just made more impressive, and therefore more fun, by the name. Can you hear my evil cackle from where you are? It's loud.
Two years ago, we had what I thought was a fairly miserable Christmas. The basement flooded and I was stressed out by that to the point where I didn't even make Christmas dinner and instead we went out to the only restaurant open in Orem, the Chinese buffet down the street. No one felt the same way I did, though--the kids got their presents, spent the day playing and basically thought it was great. Then last year, what was just a standard Christmas got labeled by one of the kids as the "best Christmas ever." Ryan joked that we'd cancel next Christmas, since it couldn't get any better, and Zack believed him, at least for a minute. Other than the flooded basement, which is sure to get any homeowner down, the main difference between the two Christmases was labels. I labeled one Christmas a failure and the other a success. I look back on one in regret and the other in fondness. I don't want to do that with this summer.
Project: Best.Summer.Ever. is for me, mostly. If I give it a great label, then I'm going to try to live up to it, make it what it should be. It's the structure that I crave and that the kids secretly crave as well. And it's also a program of psychological warfare, which makes every summer better, don't you think?
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