No, that title is not a typo. I am a big fan of New Year's resolutions, except for one problem: I never accomplish the things that I set out to accomplish on January 1st. They all tend to be "Change my life radically and become a different person than I was on Dec. 31st" kinds of resolutions, which somewhere deep down I know sounds much easier than it really is. And to look at the positive side of things, I do accomplish many things that I never would have bothered to write down, but ought to be acknowledged. So this year, instead of trotting out my tired list of flaws disguised as a handy to-do list, I'm going to write the list I should have written last year.
1. Have a baby. Name her Darcey, and have her be the absolute, most angelic baby the world has ever seen. Dress her in the cutest clothes available, including a darling Santa dress that causes almost every single member of my ward to tell me how cute she is, including the mother of Darcey's rival for cutest baby in the ward (i.e. the only other baby in the ward).
2. Get passports and leave the country. Pick a really exotic place that no one can find on a map. Get a company to pay for the vast majority of the trip, and make sure the dollar has a great exchange rate, so I can chortle mightily at what a steal this is.
3. Start a blog. Write at least once a week. Find out that writing can be fun, and an interest I never knew I had. Realize that this is just one more way to get people to stroke my ego. Try not to be so self-centered.
4. Keep going to school. Slow and steady gets the degree, they always say. For the first time, drop a class because it looks like too much work (Meteorology) and instead take Business Law. Regret buying the book for Business Law - the class is just too easy.
5. Remodel the kitchen. Spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, but have it be worth every penny afterwards. Love the kitchen. Hug the pantry and rest my cheek on the countertop. Ponder whether money can, in fact, buy happiness.
6. Go to the gym with more regularity than ever before in my life. And when I take a month or two off, start going again without beating myself up over not doing it perfectly.
7. Make it to 2008. Survive with a majority of brain cells intact. Keep slogging away at life's daily challenges - don't give up. Find respite in friends, dates with Ryan, reality tv shows, and time to myself. Laugh at things that go wrong, look on the bright side as often as I can muster. Love my family.
2 comments:
I just wanted to say again, that this retro-active way of assigning new year's resolutions is great and I think everyone should do it this way. Much more positive all around.
Here are my favorite lines:
"make sure the dollar has a great exchange rate, so I can chortle mightily at what a steal this is."
I just love the imagery of your 'chortling'!
"Love the kitchen. Hug the pantry and rest my cheek on the countertop. Ponder whether money can, in fact, buy happiness."
If money can't buy happiness, it can in fact remove embarassment, anger and hostile feelings of owning an old and dumpy kitchen!
I also like the retro resolutions, you might have thought up a new thing here. It'll make you as much money as having the Star Wars spoofs! Also, you know that you've changed the ways that we think of gifts now, its as happiness units.
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