Sunday, April 15, 2007

Lessons Learned During a Pizza Hut Dinner

1. There is no end to how much food a 9 year old will try to eat in one bite. And remain fully convinced that of course he's chewing with his mouth shut!
2. The floor under the dining room table will be littered with pepperoni. I can't remember ever dropping a whole pepperoni on the floor, let alone several, but then again, I don't prefer to eat my pepperoni on the side.
3. Crusts are for handles only. They are UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES to be eaten.
4. The same children who refuse to eat their crust will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick, which is basically just crust with cheese.
5. The child who refuses to eat a breadstick at the table will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick outside on the swingset. Yes, you guessed it, we haven't had nearly enough swingset injuries lately, I'm trying to beef up my blog entries by encouraging a choking incident.
6. When a child requests "Cookie Bubbles" he's really asking for "Fruity Pebbles." This is the reason I'm pursuing an advanced education, to figure out stuff like that. Which has nothing to do with Pizza Hut, but I thought I'd throw that in there.
7. Somewhere around age 8, it turns into some kind of pre-manhood contest to see just how much of a pizza a boy can eat. Today's attempt: 6 1/2 slices from a medium pizza. He chickened out at number 7. Oh, and one breadstick.
8. You can't hide Pizza Hut from a dieting husband. You can only hope he comes home from his campout either happy enough that he doesn't care, or grouchy enough that he's grateful.

1 comment:

Drake Steel said...

My Opinions:

1. There is no end to how much food a 9 year old will try to eat in one bite. And remain fully convinced that of course he's chewing with his mouth shut!

>> The chewing with your mouth shut discussion has gotten a great deal of play in our house and at work (when I opinined about a boy at church who does it on a toxic level) and I won't discuss that now. Suffice it to say, they (mouth open chewers) don't feel your pain.

2. The floor under the dining room table will be littered with pepperoni. I can't remember ever dropping a whole pepperoni on the floor, let alone several, but then again, I don't prefer to eat my pepperoni on the side.

>> I would find that a significant thing to fix. I don't understand not eating pepperoni, but there is taking it off the pizza and putting it on the plate or in the trash. It "appearing" on the floor would be punishment worthy. Cheese Pizza alone is so bland, I think the pepperoni juice all by itself fixes the taste a bit.

3. Crusts are for handles only. They are UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES to be eaten.

>> My mother and I would eat everybody's potato skins under the same scheme. We were ahead of our time I guess. I could just as easily eat all those crusts.

4. The same children who refuse to eat their crust will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick, which is basically just crust with cheese.
5. The child who refuses to eat a breadstick at the table will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick outside on the swingset. Yes, you guessed it, we haven't had nearly enough swingset injuries lately, I'm trying to beef up my blog entries by encouraging a choking incident.

>> In the imortal words of Rita Rudner.. Guys only like cooking when there is danger involved. Maybe a coralary to that is that they also like eating when danger is involved also. Gosh I love Pizza Hut bread sticks! I used to get 2 family packs at the Ellicott City Pizza Hut (in fact I'd call ahead so they were waiting for when I got there) and eat one of them on the way to the house.

6. When a child requests "Cookie Bubbles" he's really asking for "Fruity Pebbles." This is the reason I'm pursuing an advanced education, to figure out stuff like that. Which has nothing to do with Pizza Hut, but I thought I'd throw that in there.

>> I remember when one of you kids asked for something and Mom said what the child asked for was 1/2 cup of milk in a feet cup. I had zero idea what was said. And I have an actual degree... In Economics!

7. Somewhere around age 8, it turns into some kind of pre-manhood contest to see just how much of a pizza a boy can eat. Today's attempt: 6 1/2 slices from a medium pizza. He chickened out at number 7. Oh, and one breadstick.

>> My Thought: The, how much can kids eat thing... Wow! I thought I ate a lot as a kid! It wasn't until I actually had to pay for what kids ate that it was a real shocker to me. Teenagers are like food consuming machines! I remember when Mom replaced the 32 and 44 oz cups with smaller versions because 44oz's of milk goes down as easily as 16!

8. You can't hide Pizza Hut from a dieting husband. You can only hope he comes home from his campout either happy enough that he doesn't care, or grouchy enough that he's grateful.

>> I think being a 1/10000000th of a good Boy Scout leader should be grounds for much, much appreciation. Its odd that the Boy Scouts was the initial reason for my interest in the church and I've really never had much to do with it since I've been a member. I love Pizza Hut and can easily do a Pan all by myself.