1. There is no end to how much food a 9 year old will try to eat in one bite. And remain fully convinced that of course he's chewing with his mouth shut!
2. The floor under the dining room table will be littered with pepperoni. I can't remember ever dropping a whole pepperoni on the floor, let alone several, but then again, I don't prefer to eat my pepperoni on the side.
3. Crusts are for handles only. They are UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES to be eaten.
4. The same children who refuse to eat their crust will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick, which is basically just crust with cheese.
5. The child who refuses to eat a breadstick at the table will have absolutely no problem eating a breadstick outside on the swingset. Yes, you guessed it, we haven't had nearly enough swingset injuries lately, I'm trying to beef up my blog entries by encouraging a choking incident.
6. When a child requests "Cookie Bubbles" he's really asking for "Fruity Pebbles." This is the reason I'm pursuing an advanced education, to figure out stuff like that. Which has nothing to do with Pizza Hut, but I thought I'd throw that in there.
7. Somewhere around age 8, it turns into some kind of pre-manhood contest to see just how much of a pizza a boy can eat. Today's attempt: 6 1/2 slices from a medium pizza. He chickened out at number 7. Oh, and one breadstick.
8. You can't hide Pizza Hut from a dieting husband. You can only hope he comes home from his campout either happy enough that he doesn't care, or grouchy enough that he's grateful.