Thursday, May 31, 2007

Some Final Pre-Partum Thoughts

Today, theoretically, is the day. Although it might not be, either. The blessed event that we've been waiting for for 273 days could be happening today, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Except that I am still waiting for anything to happen. Kind of puts a damper on any excitement.

On Monday morning I realized that I wanted to be induced. I had been offered for many weeks to be induced one week early if I wanted to, but that I had to make a decision early because this is Utah Valley, where childbirth is a pastime, nay, even a hobby with some women, and the hospital's schedule gets filled quickly. Having been induced before, I knew that I absolutely did not want to be induced again. In retrospect, when my induction with my first child was presented to me, I know now that I was being told "No" in my heart, while the logical part of me said, "Heck yes!" Going with the "heck yes" was a mistake, because I've regretted it ever since, even though nothing bad came of it at all. It just wasn't the right thing to do, and I knew it but did it anyway.

So anyhow, Monday morning at 5:45 I was getting out of bed to go to the bathroom for the millionth time and accidentally bumped Ryan. When I came back and got in bed, Ryan was sitting bolt upright and said, "Where were you?" I told him I was going to the bathroom, and he said, "Oh, you hit me so hard I thought there was an emergency!"

Well, I was tired of everything being a potential emergency, and I spent the next hour or so laying awake in bed deciding that, in fact, I am okay with nature not taking its course. I am tired of waiting and thinking that everything I felt could be a prelude to a real contraction. I prayed about it, and immediately felt a peaceful calm feeling about being induced, the exact opposite of the feelings I had had even a week or so before. I can't explain the about-face, but accepted it and emailed my doctor to grovel and plead for one more chance at induction. I told him that I didn't care when it was scheduled for, do the best he could and I'd be happy knowing that an end was in sight.

Yesterday at my appointment, he gave me the good news - he was able to get me on the schedule for Thursday (today), although I am 5th in line behind 2 medical inductions and 3 elective inductions. Or am I the third elective? Maybe I'm 6th in line? I can't remember already, but apparently that's fairly far down the totem pole, and there is no guarantee they will get to me. I was just thrilled that it could potentially be today, and could finally start making plans. Arranging for a baby-sitter. Finding rides home from school. Packing a hospital bag (which I didn't get to do with my last baby, he was so early). Doing some laundry so I don't have to think about it for a while. Downloading the other two sections of a book onto my ipod.

And then the waiting began, but this time we're not waiting for nature, we're waiting for humans. My doctor had advised me to call the hospital if I hadn't gotten a call by 9 or 10 a.m. today, and see where I am on the list. I called at 10, and was told that the hospital was swamped, and that they had no idea when they would get to me. She let me know that if it got to be "too late" they would call my doctor and see if he still wanted to induce me today. I don't know what time constitutes "too late" but things, to me, are not looking good.

So the holding pattern continues. I could have taken my kids to Kangaroo Zoo with all of my friends, who are undoubtedly sitting there assuming I'm in labor even as we speak. The ride I arranged for Brad to go to a Last Day of School Party I ended up canceling, and Ryan drove him instead. Ryan, who arranged to take today and tomorrow off of work (from the one client that we have) has decided to go into work anyhow and do stuff, just to avoid sitting around the house staring at me.

Wait, hold, the phone, there is breaking news!! The hospital just called and said that they are ready for me!! Holy smokes, this is really going to happen today, like right now!! By dinnertime I could be holding our new daughter (with one hand, of course, because the other will be trying to type an update for my blog. What can I say, I'm a die-hard.).

Okay, okay, I'm going - Wish me luck!!!!!!

No comments: