By H. Wallace Goddard
Before the class starts -
My new, go with the flow, the spirit will direct me to the right class theory is in jeopardy, as I am accidentally in the wrong marriage class. Whoops. I was looking at the schedule and I decided to go to the class titled " Building Relationships that Last for Lifetime or Longer" - the daily topics looked applicable to a variety of situations instead of just simply marriage. But once I left the last class, I was on autopilot and walked to the Benson building instead. It wasn't until I was looking at the handout for this class that I realized I blew it. And the other class is over in the Harris Fine Arts building, which I knew I couldn't get to in time and still get a seat. So I'm here, for today at least. I can challenge the assumption that I can learn anything from any class, if my heart is open.
Goal of class - give principles and practices to apply in many situations, also rejoice in gospel of Jesus Christ, which will help any relationship.
When god comes into our heart, it changes everything, but until you've experienced it you won't understand. He doesn't come to condemn, but to save, to redeem, to love.
we always have the exact right people in your family to make you crazy. The lord is saying, "I’m giving you people who will make you crazy, unless..." the natural partner is an enemy to their spouse, unless... (king Benjamin) unless we yield to the enticing of the holy spirit, and put off the natural spouse, through the atonement of Christ.
why make sacrifices? Adam says, I don't know except God tells me.
Are there things in our marriage that god wants us to do, that we don't do because we don't understand?
Verse 7 - the sacrifice and the one who made it is full of grace and truth. Every time you make a sacrifice, you are doing what Jesus did, surrendering your will to his.
Verse 8 - action step - do *all* in the name of the son, and repent
the rest of the Christian world thinks Adam and eve were dopes, were stupid and rebellious enough to get busted and put us all in a bad situation. We see Adam and eve as heroes, courageous people who chose the hard but growth filled road. When we choose marriage (or have children), we choose the hard but growth filled path.
V 10 - like Adam and eve, we are choosing experience over keeping ourselves unstained. Eve talks about joy of redemption and family life.
Family life will discourage us and frustrate us, but that is part of the plan.
we ritualize our frustrations - we are so used to being irritated by our spouse without them even having to do anything.
In past generations, our heroes were always those who sacrificed themselves for the sake of others. The biggest revolution in human history where our heroes are now people who take care of themselves at all cost. Today's dogma is, if marriage is not meeting our needs we not only have the right we have the obligation to get out.
The cultural mandate is you must take care of #1.
You have to choose the world's way or the Lord's way, you can't have both.
There is an advantage to knowing at the beginning of a marriage that there will be unresolvable situations in your marriage. When we make sacrifices, choose to give up some of our preferences, we are in similitude of /Christ.
If we want to grow, sacrifices are a part of it. It is fundamental.
We can't look at marriage as a marketplace - we can't keep looking for a better deal.
We need to commit our time and talents.
Trouble in a relationship comes when we take another’s behavior personally. When we see others as selfish it's because we are being selfish.
Commit time and talents means to inconvenience ourselves, maybe it means helping around the house or work in the yard or go to a ball game.
we impose our wants on another, and when they don't want the same, we resent them. Everyone wants different things, we need to recognize that what makes one person happy isn't what makes the spouse happy.
When we understand the spirit of sacrifices it stops feeling like a sacrifice. It is just behaving out of love.
Our sacrifices always seem so big when we don't have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our hearts.
First and foremost, we have to have commitment. If every day wee asks ourselves if we want to stay, we won't stay. We need to honor our covenants.
Do you find his qualities and compliment them? Do you see him as a flaw colony? Or do you see him as a remarkable son of god, who has unique gifts and who god has joined with you.
No covenant is likely to be effective if god isn't a part of it.
do w yearn to get out into greener pastures? In marriage, the grass grows greener on the side you water most. If all your fondest affection goes to people other than your spouse, you are going to see less beauty in your spouse.
"damning by faint praise"
the trick is it's not just suffering, it's making a sacrifice that is worthwhile and smart. Wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
2 Nephi 2, 9 - atonement scriptures mosiah 3 and 4, Alma 34, 42
when I'm filled with the doctrine of the atonement, then my path is clear. The atonement makes us saints, lets us be around other imperfect people and lets us think we're having fun.